I’ve just finished watching Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At Worlds End. Yeah, look at me, on the cutting edge. The reason it has taken me so long is that after loving the first film, the second was so bloody dull I couldn’t be bothered to see how it all ended. The second film is a holding pattern, an exercise is spending time getting from point A to point A.
Anyway, this post contains spoilers if you haven’t seen the films.
The entire trilogy is 463 minutes long (143 + 151 + 169). That is 7 hours, 43 minutes. And at the end nothing has changed.
At the start of POTC1, Jack Sparrow is looking for the Black Pearl, his ship which has been stolen from him by Captain Barbossa. Barbossa is risen from the dead and is leading the crew in a search for a magical item which will allow them to live forever. Sparrow, however, has a magical compass which shows him the way to where the item is.
Meanwhile Orloondo Bland is pining after Ikea Knightley, whom he is in love with by due to class divide cannot actually be with.
At the end of POTC3, Jack Sparrow is chasing after the Black Pearl, which has just been stolen from him by Captain Barbossa. Barbossa has risen from the dead for a second time and is leading the crew in a search for the Fountain of Youth, which will allow them to live forever. Sparrow, however, has a magical map which shows him the way to where the Fountain of Youth is.
Meanwhile, Orloondo Bland and Ikea Knightley are pining after each other, because they are in love but they cannot actually be with due to him only being allowed to step ashore for one day in 10 years.
7 hours, 43 minutes of explosions, coincidences, deaths, rebirths, fights, yo ho hos, all to get back to precisely where they started.