The European Hokey Cokey

I haven’t blogged for a while, despite having plenty of things to try and find time to write about.  Well, not so much write, but rather type an endless stream of invective, abuse and swearwords as this current Coalition Government set about demolishing everything that made Britain a decent country, the safety net of the NHS, the respect for the poor, the disabled.  They’ve pretty much stopped hiding it.  This Coalition Government legitimised lying to Parliament (well done Nick Clegg!), lied under oath to Leveson and stand to profit hugely from selling off taxpayer funded institutions to themselves.  Or their mates.  They even demonise people on benefits as fraudsters while allowing a man who ripped the taxpayer off to the tune of £40,000 back into the Cabinet.

Of course, my anger isn’t eased by the knowledge that they will be kicked out at the next election, seeing as they are up against Ed Miliband, the human equivalent of beige.  Getting angry at him personally is like getting angry at, I don’t know, porridge.  Or toothpaste.  The problem is that Ed has never actually had a job outside of politics.  He was brought up with politics and sees everything in terms of a political calculation.  Therefore he doesn’t actually stand up for anything, because he doesn’t believe in anything.  Labour has abandoned any principles it has trying to aim for some kind of middle (in actuality, Right) ground.

Anyway, a couple of days ago David Cameron announced that, should the Tories be re-elected, that he will hold a referendum on Britains membership of the European Union.  This is, of course, one of the big issues for the Tories since the early 90s.  More than the economy (twice as fucked as it was when they came in power) more than defence, or the NHS, the real thing the Tories care about is “Yerp”.

Cameron has been forced into this by UKIP.  The UK Independence Party are the equivalent of the US Tea Party, loud, obnoxious, funded by the rich and supported by the selfish.  The Tories will happily steal candy from a poor baby (“how dare they have treats funded by my tax money?”) but UKIP will punch it in the face afterwards “for looking a bit foreign”.  The UKIP view of the world can be summed up in the following image.

The British Empire in the 1920s.

The caption says “The British Empire in the 1920’s” but it is effectively how UKIP and their Tory supporters essentially see the world now.  Britannia, despite all the evidence to the contrary, rules the waves.  Europe is still full of Krauts, Huns, Frogs, Dagos, Spics and millions of others who would all be speaking German right now if it wasn’t for Churchill and Our Brave Boys.

UKIP are a bunch of hypocrites.  They hate Europe so much, that they’ve taken £2m from it in expenses and keep standing for election there.  The undemocratic EU dictatorship has 12 UKIP MEPs, whereas the UK mother of all Parliaments, home of Great British Democracy has… none.  UKIP epitomise the very worst of Brits abroad.  I don’t mean the sort of idiotic lager louts you see in Magaluf, but the ones who buy a holiday home in Tuscany and then complain when the Portuguese cleaner simply refuses to learn proper English and to follow instructions even when repeated to them Quite Loudly Indeed.

(It is important to point out that UKIP as stated on their website, are not racist.  They just hate Europeans as a whole, and not any particular race.  So not racist.  Xenophobic.  But definitely not racist.  They also say that they are Libertarian, which as any fule know, is an utterly bonkers idea that can be reduced in two minutes to “Fuck you, got mine”.)

There are two main strands to the anti-EU argument.  The first is that it is an undemocratic dictatorship that has sovereignty over UK issues. This is answered easily – the EU Parliament is elected by the people in elections run via Proportional Representation, which is a much more democratic way that the UKs First Past The Post system.  The members of the EU Commission are appointed by the Parliaments of the respective countries, so with the Parliaments being democratically elected, we can put that argument to bed.  Laws pass down from the EU to the member countries, who have signed treaties ratified by their Parliaments to allow them to be put into practice.  Some countries – of which Britain is one – has negotiated various opt-outs to these laws.

So you see just how undemocratic the whole thing is.

As for UKIP believing in the sovereignty of the UK Parliament, here are two things.  This referendum is to appease UKIP.  UKIP, as previously stated, have no MPs in Parliament.  They have stood in a General Election and failed to get an elected voice.  They are, effectively, a lobbying group, albeit one which has managed to exert an incredible influence over a democratically elected Government.  I can’t think of another unelected organisation that has such an influence over Government, well, not now that News Corp are keeping their heads down for a bit.  Second, this UKIP idea of parliamentary sovereignty manifests itself in.. a referendum of the people which bypasses Parliament altogether. So the party which believes in democracy and sovereignty of Parliament is in fact an unelected lobby group that doesn’t want Westminster to have a say in our membership of the EU!

The second anti-EU argument is that all sorts of rules are imposed by Brussels on Britain.  Take, for example, the Working Time Directive.  Nigel Farage: “We urgently need more EU reform, not least of the working time directive“.  William Hague: “The Working Time Directive is doing enough damage as it is to British businesses and public services.”

But what is the Working Time Directive?  Well, it enshrines, in law, the following things:

  • A maximum working week of 48 hours, unless the employee agrees to voluntarily work more
  • A minimum 20 days holiday in a year
  • A maximum of 13 working hours in a single 24 hour period, unless, again, the employee agrees
  • Rest periods every six hours

There is some other stuff, but you will note that the Working Time Directive is there to protect employees.  They can’t be forced to work insane hours under threat of dismissal, nor can they be forced to work year round.  The key word is “forced”, as employees can choose to work long hours and can withdraw that consent at any time.

It also doesn’t force employers to do anything like providing free creches full of kittens and mandatory sedan chairs for their workers.  All the Working Time Directive does is let a worker have a little bit of choice in this work-life balance thingy.

These workers rights are what the Tories and UKIP want to remove.  Not rules on how straight bananas can be, or any other made up bullshit.  They want to reduce holidays and increase working hours and fire you if you refuse to comply.

So the next time you hear the words “Working Time Directive” coming from a Tory or Nigel Farage, ask yourself this:

  • Which part of me being able to choose to work more than 48 hours a week is a problem?
  • Which bit of me being entitled to 20 days holiday a year is a problem?
  • Which bit of me having a mandated break when doing a long shift is a problem?
  • Which bit of me not being forced to work over six days a week is a problem?
  • Seeing as I can voluntarily choose to do any of the above, exactly which specific bit of the Working Time Directive is the problem, exactly?

Now you may have guessed that I support Britains membership of the EU.  I have a little bit of sympathy for David Cameron.  He is basically running an unpopular, minority Government and needs the support of the whackos and nutjobs in order to have a chance at re-election.  I don’t have a lot of sympathy, mind, as the shit he finds himself in is of his own making.  Cameron is clearly walking a tightrope as membership of the EU is absolutely vital to the British economy.  They are our biggest trading partner.  We leave, China, India and United States will simply trade with the EU.  EU countries will pull investment from Britain as it will cost them more.  Our own goods will cost more to make, because we buy it all in.  And we flogged most of the utilities to the French anyway.

The entire basis for this referendum is insane.  It jeopardises everything – vote to leave the EU and say hello to high prices and goodbye to many forms of employment protection.  What angers me is that so much of the argument are driven by either naked greed or by hypocrites.  The Daily Mail will argue against – owned by a man who is exiled for tax purposes.  The Telegraph will argue against – owned by two brothers in a tax haven that they try to run like a fiefdom.  The Sun will argue against, owned by an Australian who became American for tax reasons and run from a company in the Cayman Islands.

And these shitbags will try to give us lessons on Britains place in the world with a level of lies that will make the anti-AV campaign look like a paragon of truthfulness.  (Which reminds, how is that Leveson thing panning out…)

Ultimately, I just don’t understand what the beef with Europe is.  Britain joined the EEC before I was even born.  I’ve grown up with it.  I’ve seen that Europe isn’t full of shifty foreigners trying to extract revenge for “The War”.  I’ve seen it as a place to go to, to live, to work, to visit. I like it.  It isn’t just me – an entire couple of generations have grown up connected to Europe.  To me, saying we shouldn’t be part of it is like saying we should withdraw from the Internet.  It occupies the same mental space as the debate on gay marriage.  “It exists, it can’t be wished or legislated away. Why are we even debating it? Grow the fuck up and deal with it.”

Therefore what I can see is the lies, the delusion and the hypocrisy.  The lies about what Britains membership of the EU does.  The delusions from UKIP of the position of Britain in the world. The hypocrisy that the Tories are saying the UK is better apart from Europe, yet Scotland shouldn’t have independence because common interest is stronger.

I can see that, right now, there is a hell of a lot more wrong with the UK that needs fixing than our relationship with Europe yet all we could end up talking about is a sodding “Yerp” from now until 2017.  That an undemocratic, xenophobic party who want to strip people of their protections is exerting far too much influence.

And that worries me.


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